Saturday Mornings

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Apologies as I’ve dropped off the blogosphere (again) so soon after starting, my reason being I’ve been having a rough enough couple of weeks, just the amalgamation of things not working out, not going my way and thoughts pressing on my mind, I just haven’t had the mindset for blogging.

In particular the thoughts of my deceased relatives. Not in any morbid way, just memories and such. I’ve been lucky enough to have two grandmothers alive until I was almost 20 and them both living to the age of almost 93. 
In the past month a dear person to David and a wonderful woman passed away and it hit me how much the people we’ve lost often mean more to us after they’re gone.

This post is dedicated to my nana (Nana Mac) on my dad’s side who I lost 4 years ago this January gone, she really was a best friend to me particularly when I was younger, would nearly always stay with us when she was down from Donegal, and I couldn’t wait to spend weekends up there particularly in summers. 
She was full of stories, and memories, we even got some new ones out of her in her later years. I am the youngest of 3 grandchildren on my dad’s side so I had her all to myself pretty much.

Some of my fondest memories would be coming down on a Saturday morning to the kitchen to see it all set up, with my favourite cereal or batch bread with real butter and marmalade, the range going full blast and an apple pie already defrosting for after dinner. 
Or some mornings, particularly cold ones I would go into her room and climb into bed and she’d tell me stories and we’d scoff a few sweets before breakfast. 

Nana Mac unfortunately spent a lot of her later years in and out of hospital and nursing homes, meaning that her home was vacant long before she passed. My dad’s family took a trip up together to divide up what we wanted each from the house and what memories of Nana’s we would want to cherish forever. 
I took very few things, opting for a writing bureau (which I never remember in the house funnily enough), a charm bracelet and two rings. One of these rings I thought I lost at a funeral last year, and found last week, brought me nothing but joy. I cursed myself so much for losing something so meaningful. 

The other of these rings is now my engagement ring, for a number of reasons – David proposed spontaneously, but knew nothing would match this ring. Also whether its a sign that Nana Mac is watching over or just coincidental the night she passed was the night that David and I realised we liked eachother so she has a presence in our relationship as weird as that sounds considering he’d never met her.

It’s the times we take to reflect on both happy and sadder memories that can really define us and losing my Nana, though it wasn’t the first big loss I’ve suffered it definitely proved that it’s how you deal with the loss. I’ve read a lot of personal posts on blogs lately and it really seems to strike a chord, people tend to take on a challenge or look at the world differently.

Anyway thank you for reading this far and sharing in some of the Saturday mornings I’ve spent with my Nana Mac. 

Nickki